Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
