Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
