I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm having to shit out rocks
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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