It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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