Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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