I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
