Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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