I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
