she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
