you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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