Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
