let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
