I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
