all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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