Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize