well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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