So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
