I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think people are normalizing furries
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
