I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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