A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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