I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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