i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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