Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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