Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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