he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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