i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
