yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
