i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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