don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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