Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
