i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
