I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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