you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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