so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sext me about skeletons
I think people are normalizing furries
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
