Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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