Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
