im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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