Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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