This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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