she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is it because I queefed?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
