So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
