She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
