Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
