your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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