My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
