maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Randomize
