So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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