Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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