grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we're making bets on your personal life
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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