let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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