so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
