I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
