you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
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I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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