I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have post one night stand depression
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
