The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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