So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
