Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
