you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
