Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
