I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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