Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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